Prequel to Leaving
by Brianna Aisling
Summary: Well, here is the prequel to my other fic Leaving. The style is not the same as Leaving, but hey. Anyway, here it is.


- - - - -  
  
- - - - -  
  
Prequel to Leaving  
  
- - - - -  
  
- - - - -  
  
He lay on his futon, an arm thrown across his eyes, hiding them from the world. He wouldn't dare let anyone see what was there. He wouldn't let anyone see the fear, or the wonder that always followed, or the hope that this last night had given him what he wanted.  
  
- - -  
  
Kasumi knocked on Ranma's door. There was no answer, but for the past two months there had not been an answer.  
  
"Breakfast is ready, Ranma." She stepped back and waited. It was a long moment before he opened the door. His eyes still bore the dark circles that had formed after the failed wedding. Ranma nodded silently and walked down the stairs to the dinning room. Kasumi watched him and then moved down the hall. This summoning would be harder. Kasumi paused outside Akane's door and lifted a hand to touch her sister's name plaque. It clicked slightly against the door. She sighed and knocked. There was no answer. Kasumi pushed the door open. Akane's bed was empty and made. She closed the door and continued on to the bathroom. She knocked.  
  
"Yes?" Akane's voice was soft and empty of emotion.  
  
"Breakfast is ready, Akane. Will you be out soon?" Kasumi stepped back as the door slid open. Her little sister stood there, dressed and ready for school. She, too, had bags under her eyes, but hers were darker than Ranma's. Kasumi smiled. Akane gave her the slight lifting of the corner of her lips that had become her smile and walked past her. She said nothing. Kasumi's smile faded.  
  
- - -  
  
Ranma leaned forward and set his chin in his palm. His eyelids sagged low over his eyes as he watched the teacher demonstrate something on the board. He didn't know what class he was in. Things had stopped being important. He'd found that he had begun to hate himself since the wedding. Ranma's eyes darkened. He had wanted that wedding to happen more than he had known, and if he'd only been honest with himself, and everyone else, it would have. But he hadn't been, and he'd ended up lying to Akane and now he.... Ranma bit the inside of his cheek and forced all thoughts away. He was miserable and lonely, he couldn't remember his nights with Akane, she wasn't talking to him, and he'd begun to seriously consider honoring that stupid promise of his father's. Ranma closed his eyes. An image flashed in his mind briefly. Then a blur formed. It cleared as if it were an image in a video coming into focus. Then, the memory hit him full force.  
  
(The room was warm from their heat. She was panting heavily. He could feel each breath as if he were the one breathing it. Her hands were on his hips, then his back, his shoulders. He kissed her throat softly. His hands roamed her body. He cupped her breasts, held onto her hips, her butt. Her skin was soft, and he could taste her sweat. She'd wrapped her legs around him. He wasn't inside her yet, but close. He could feel how wet she was along his length. Suddenly, she grabbed his head, diverting it from the trail he was making to her breasts, and kissed him hard on the mouth.)  
  
He trembled in his seat. He didn't dare open his eyes. He was too terrified that someone would see the memory there. He loved and hated these flashes, the ones that made it through the terror. They were so real, so very real. Her touch burned his skin. Ranma lowered his head to his desk. He let the memory replay itself.  
  
- - -  
  
Hiroshi looked over at Ranma. He had been silent since the wedding, not once speaking to them. He hung out with him and Disuke at lunch and in gym, but he wouldn't talk to them. They both knew better than to mention Akane. They had seen the pain in his eyes when he'd catch a glimpse of her. She never looked at him, but she looked as bad as he did. Sometimes, he wondered if Ranma was aware of the play of emotion over his face. Hiroshi knew when Ranma was thinking about Akane. His eyes would darken, and he'd lower his head, as if he didn't want them to see what dwell there. But sometimes, there would be this flash of something... something.... Hiroshi did not know what to call it. It was a thick emotion and made him think of memories newly discovered. Ranma would be especially uncommunicative at these times. Ranma's friend laughed quietly, humorlessly. How was it possible to be even more uncommunicative when you never talked? Heh. It would be Ranma who achieved such an impossible task. Hiroshi sighed to himself and wished for something to change, for something to happen. He missed Ranma.  
  
- - -  
  
Akane touched the tip of her chopsticks to the rice in her bowl. She wasn't hungry. Not really. She sighed and placed the chopsticks on the table. She ignored the looks her sisters and father gave her. They were worried about her. She should at least fake being fine, but it was too exhausting. Ranma shifted next to her. She didn't glance at him, not as she once would have. She didn't need to. She knew what look would be on his face. It would be that same tired look that she wore, that same hopelessness, yet at the same time, that same hope. She prayed it was the same hope. She wanted so much to-to-- Akane savagely banished the thought. There was no way in hell she would admit this hope. She had once wanted him to love her, and briefly she thought he had, but then he'd denied it. Her hands began to shake where they sat in her lap. She closed her eyes. He'd come to her that night. Oh, how she had wanted him. She didn't know why he came to her, but she couldn't turn him away. She couldn't.   
  
She'd tried; so many times she'd tried.  
  
- - -  
  
Ranma shifted again. Something was itching at the corner of his mind. He knew a memory was coming; he could feel it. He lowered his eyes to the table, turning his face down. He hoped it would not be one of the explicit ones. He wanted those the most, but not here, not with her sitting so close to him, his family and those he considered family near him. He could feel the memory surge and he closed his eyes.  
  
(Akane's eyes met his. He couldn't read the expression in them. Then her fingertips touched his lips. He pushed forward and kissed her. Her lips parted, and he slid his tongue into her mouth. Her fingers slid to the collar of his tank top. She wrapped them into the thin material and pulled. He tumbled on top of her.)  
  
Ranma's eyes snapped open. He found himself staring at his food bowl. Never in his flashes had she reached out to him first. He was usually the one to touch first. And never had he been invited into her mouth; he'd had to ask permission, run his tongue over her lips, plead with his hands, stroking her cheek. He turned his head slightly and lifted his eyes to study her. She wasn't eating, but was lost in thought. Oh, she was beautiful. Even now, with pain so obvious in her features, she was beautiful.  
  
- - -  
  
She could feel his eyes on her. She imitated him unknowingly and turned her head toward him slightly. She was startled by the look on his face at first, but then she understood. Another memory. Probably last night. She didn't usually take the initiative in their encounters, but last night she had. That would be why he looked at her with that wonder and curiosity now. He wanted to know why. He would have to ask her before she would let him know.  
  
- - -  
  
Kasumi ran warm water over the dish in her hands, watching the soap flow off of it, captured by the water. She felt her father enter the kitchen. He walked over to stand next to her and began to dry the dishes. Kasumi waited patiently. When something was bothering him, he would come into the kitchen and help her. He would begin to talk soon.  
  
Soun cleared his throat.  
  
"Is something wrong, Father?"  
  
"Do you think Akane will be all right?"  
  
She sighed. "I don't know, Father. She isn't talking to me. I don't think she's talking to anyone."  
  
"What about Ranma?"  
  
"It's the same with him. I don't know what to make of it. I think something happened between them, but…." Her voice trailed off. Soun also remained silent.  
  
"Kasumi?"  
  
"Yes, Father?"  
  
"Do you think I should call off the engagement?"  
  
Kasumi paused in her washing. She frowned slightly. "No, Father," she said, slowly. "I think perhaps they need to learn how to deal with their emotions. They have spent the last year fighting the attraction they felt. I don't think you or Mr. Saotome should get involved. Your meddling has caused much damage in their relationship."  
  
Soun winced. He heard the truth in his eldest's statement. He could see now the damage they had caused. Soun sighed.  
  
"You are wise, Kasumi. Your mother would be proud of you." Kasumi stopped washing and turned to her father. She studied him for a moment and then wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back and cried.  
  
- - -  
  
Ranma tried to smile at his mother. She looked as if she needed it, but he couldn't. His pain refused to be ignored. Sighing silently, he reached out and hugged her.  
  
"Hey, Mom."  
  
"Ranma." Nodoka's heart constricted tightly in her chest. Those were the first words she had heard from him since the wedding night when he had spent hours in the dojo cussing at the world. She had stood outside the dojo and listened to him smash practice dummy after practice dummy. She had thought at first that he was angry that the wedding had been interrupted, but then, as time had passed, she had begun to think that perhaps there were other reasons. He didn't talk to Akane. If he loved her, wouldn't he be talking to her? Wouldn't he be drawing strength from her? Then, she had seen him at Ucchan's. It had surprised her, but it cleared some of the confusion from her mind.  
  
- - -  
  
"He's my son, Genma. I consider what is best for him. This engagement is obviously not what is best for him."  
  
"But, Nodoka, Soun and I promised each other."  
  
"This isn't about you and Soun! This is about Ranma. He's unhappy. When was the last time you heard him laugh? When was the last time you heard him say more than two words at a time? He's not sleeping well, and he won't talk to anyone. If he was talking to Akane, I would let the engagement stand, but they're not. They don't even look at each other."  
  
"But, Nodoka--"  
  
"No buts, Genma. I know he goes to Ukyo's restaurant often. I assume they are talking. Her claim is as valid as Akane's and obviously more pleasing. I am switching the engagement. You are to say nothing. I will tell Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo myself."  
  
"Nodoka...."  
  
- - -  
  
Ranma sat beside Akane stiffly. His father sat across from them. They sat waiting for his mother. He could feel that itch in the back of his mind. He closed his eyes as it overflowed into his conscious.  
  
(He lay on top of her, his hands splayed flat against her mattress. He felt her chest rise and fall with each breath. He could feel the air rush over his cheek and across his neck each time it escaped her mouth. Her small, warm, soft hands were pressed against his flanks. Slowly, she ran her hands up over his hips, up his sides, sending shivers down his spine. His heart and his breathing sped up as her touch roused the feelings he had just sated. She wrapped her arms around him, and he could hear her whispering to him. Her words were lost in the desire she had flooded his body with. He struggled to force them through the thick lust. He struggled to understand the meaning of the sounds she was making. Then, like a bubble rising to the top of liquid to explode and release the trapped gas, her words broke through and made sense.)  
  
Ranma opened his eyes. The awe there startled his father, but Ranma was not aware of his father, only Akane.  
  
- - -  
  
Ukyo studied her reflection through the streak marks left by her rag. She was...cute. At least, Ranma said she was cute. Was she really though? She knew she wasn't ugly. No, she was cute. That wasn't the issue; what she wondered about was if she was feminine or not.  
  
The door to her restaurant jingled as someone pushed it open. Ukyo looked up. Nodoka stood squinting into the dim interior light. Suddenly panicked, Ukyo brushed at her hair.  
  
"Mrs. Saotome, what a surprise. How can I help you?"  
  
The older woman didn't sit or attempt an exchange of pleasantries. "I have decided that the engagement to Akane is no longer to be honored. I have also decided that, since my husband and son owe you a debt of honor, you will marry Ranma."  
  
Ukyo froze. Her eyes widened, and she just stood there gazing at Nodoka. She wondered why. Ranma wasn't talking to her. He would come here and sit in the corner and eat, but he wouldn't talk, and he wouldn't accept any free food.  
  
"Why?" she whispered.  
  
"My son has spent much time here. He talks to you. He doesn't talk to anyone else. I don't want him to be burdened with something he doesn't want anymore."  
  
Ukyo continued to stare at Nodoka. She should tell her that he didn't talk to her; he didn't even look at her, but she kept silent. She had wanted to marry him for a year now. Why would she jeopardize this chance to fulfill her dreams? Why should she? Had she not spent ten years searching for him? Had she not done what she could for him? Had she not always been there for him? Did he not owe her?  
  
"I will accept the engagement," she said, softly, firmly. She smiled at Nodoka. Nodoka did not return it, but nodded.  
  
"May I ask a favor of you, Ukyo?"  
  
"Of course, Mother."  
  
Nodoka regarded Ukyo with no expression. Finally, she sighed. "Please, help Ranma. Find out what is bothering him. I don't like to see my son unhappy."  
  
Ukyo's face saddened. "I will, Mother. I will do all that I can."  
  
- - -  
  
He started to turn to Akane, started to say something to her, but his mother entered the room, and he froze. Her words still echoed through his mind.  
  
(…I love you, Ranma. I've always loved you…)  
  
He would wait till his mother was gone, till his father was gone, till they were alone, and then he'd ask her. He'd ask her if it was true.  
  
- - -  
  
Akane sat beside Ranma. Both sat still, straight-backed, silent, eyes lowered. Across from them, Nodoka sat as seriously as they did. Behind her, her husband also sat. His eyes were lowered while Nodoka's were not. She stared hard at her son and the girl she privately blamed for her son's state. She liked Akane; the girl was sweet, but her treatment of Ranma had caused this, Nodoka was sure. Nodoka sighed.  
  
"Ranma, Akane, I have decided to end the engagement between the two of you."  
  
For the first time in his life, Genma became aware of what was going on with his son. He became aware of it and understood it. He watched Ranma stiffen. His son's fist clenched tighter, causing the knuckles to whiten. Genma was sure that the boy had stopped breathing for a moment. The older man turned his eyes to Akane. She too had stiffened. Despite her lowered head, Genma could see how her chin trembled; her eyes were wide and slick with tears. They wanted the engagement. They wanted each other. It seemed though that neither knew what the other wanted. Ranma seemed to almost say something, and he wanted to, he really wanted to, but this was his mother. He had been separated from her for ten, almost eleven years, and he wanted to please her. He wasn't really sure that his memory was correct. He halfway suspected that he was imagining her words; that he was hearing what he wanted to hear. Nodoka continued.  
  
"I have also decided that Ranma is to marry Ukyo. I have already informed her of this. She is willing."  
  
Ranma felt his last hope fade. If his mother had just broken off the engagement, then he could have still asked Akane, could have asked for her hand himself, but he was engaged to Ukyo now, for real. Not only was he engaged to her, but Ukyo already knew. Ranma felt tears form in his eyes. Damn it. He didn't want Ukyo; he wanted Akane. He couldn't go against his mother, not unless…. But she wasn't, so he couldn't. Besides, he owed Ukyo. He and his father had taken her dowry. Damn it.  
  
- - -  
  
Akane wouldn't let the tears fall. She had just lost him. If he loved her she might, she might… She couldn't though. He had said he didn't love her, and she knew that love and lust were two different things. If he loved her, he would have said something before, he would say something now. As the silence stretched out, Akane realized that she had fooled herself. He had used her for his lust, for an escape. She wouldn't dare tell him now. She could go away; say it was a training trip and leave. No one would have to know. She would stay away long enough that it wouldn't matter. She would make a life for herself somewhere else. She would never, never tell Ranma. He didn't need this unwanted complication in his life. Deep inside her though, she knew she wouldn't survive without him. She knew that she needed him. She knew that if he said something to her, she'd tell him, she'd spill her soul to him.  
  
Genma watched the despair and the hopelessness settle over Ranma and Akane. He watched as they both seemed to break. For the first time in his life, Genma ached for someone else. He wanted to help his son. He would buy him time.  
  
"Nodoka."  
  
His wife turned to him.  
  
"I want to take him on one final training trip."  
  
Nodoka's eyes narrowed. "Why?"  
  
"It will be the final time I will be able to do long term training with him. You and I both know that once he is married, he will not train for long periods of time away from his wife, and later his children."  
  
"How long?"  
  
Ranma lifted his head. His eyes were wide. What was his father doing?  
  
"Two years. Ukyo will understand. She's a martial artist. They can marry as soon as we get back."  
  
Nodoka regarded her husband. He had a strange look in his eyes. If she didn't know better, she would have thought he was trying to delay the marriage.  
  
"All right," she said finally. "But only a year, and if he comes back married to another girl, you will commit seppuku, Genma."  
  
Genma flinched but nodded. He turned to Ranma. "We will leave tomorrow, boy."  
  
Ranma nodded.  
  
- - -  
  
(Soft skin, like silk. Sweet smell, like sakura. The gentle in and out of breath, like a warm breeze. This he would remember. He would remember because this was the first time fear had not fueled him. Warm salt water, like the ocean. Were they hers or his? He thought maybe both.)  
  
- - -  
  
"You can't leave me," she screamed.  
  
- - - - -  
  
- - - - -  
  
End of Prequel to Leaving  
  
- - - - -  
  
- - - - -  
  
Companion Pieces:  
  
Leaving  
  
Sequel to Leaving  
  
http://www.goecities.com/frankie_anne 


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